How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
