He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
