ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
