id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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