based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
BRING THE BAGELS
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
