Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
