I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
