Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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