So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
