does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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