I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
