Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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