I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You're like the curious george of whores
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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