Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
