The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I want her autograph on my taint
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
