He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
