you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
