i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize