We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
