You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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