his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
cat food counts as protein by the way
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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