PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
