Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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