I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
