I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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