yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
