I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he was CRYING into my vagina
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
