Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
