New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
