I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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