More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
