yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
smell my finger.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
