I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
