I can't watch pbs sober anymore
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
