I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
