dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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