are you still at the devil's house?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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