I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
