dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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