i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
