Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
