i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So much Jack, so little girl.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
