youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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