so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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