exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
