Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Drake has all the answers
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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