whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
