On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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