The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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