please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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