That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
